December 1st

Snow Shovel

Submitted by: Laurie Anne MacNeil (via Facebook)

"For our first Christmas together, my husband bought me a shovel."

Aw, how sweet. Clearly the honeymoon isn't over. We're sure she was excited about placing it right next to the George Foreman grill in the corner of the backyard shed to gather dust.

December 2nd

Half-Dead Rose Bouquet

Submitted by @CrystalGibson via Twitter

This heartfelt present proves that romance isn't dead. It's only half-dead. And smells a little... off.

December 3rd

Expired Cookies

Submitted by Karen Hui via Facebook

"In fact, I got these a few times from several family members over the years, for various occasions. This time it was a gift from that hoarder aunt who bought too many cookies, couldn't finish them before they expired and needs to get rid of them ASAP."

Yikes. Time to move out, Karen. We'll help you find a place.

December 4th

A subscription to Oprah Magazine

Submitted by Freddy J @fredianslips via Twitter

And YOU get a Christmas present! AND YOU get a Christmas present! AND YOU get a Christmas present! And you get a magazine!

December 5th

Buttons for a Jacket

Submitted by Mathew Kaminski via Facebook

Well, you could learn to sew and make use of that gift, because it's the thought that counts! How ungrateful of you to submit this. Or, this: we dare you to try and use them as tokens.

December 6th

Donald Trump Play-Doh Barbershop Figurine

Submitted by: Lukas Drake @lukasdrake via Twitter

Wait a minute, they MAKE THESE? We're going to put in an order for the entire office. This is amazing.

December 7th

Donkey Kong Land for Gameboy

Submitted by: Michael A. Natale @MikNatz via Twitter

"Thought I was getting Pokemon Blue." #ShittyGift #HolidayDisappointments #firstworldproblems"

Well, we happened to #like #donkeykong #whenwe #werekids. #wealso #didnthavehashtags #backthen #tomake #communication #annoying.

December 8th

Earrings

Submitted by: Deborah Elizabeth Chiaramonte via Facebook

"The earrings were for pieced ears......I've never had pierced ears lol"

Wow, people just don't know you at all, Deborah. That sucks. But don't look a re-gift horse in the mouth. Hang onto those and save yourself a shopping trip for your frenemy's birthday.

December 9th

Mad-Eye Moody's Replacement Eye

Submitted by: Joel Buxton @joelbuxton via Twitter

"That thing was worse than just getting a patch." Gross. You're too right, Joel.

December 10th

Recorder from a Dollar Store

Submitted by: Brie Watson @brieford via Twitter

"Bag of random useless crap from the dollar store including, but not limited to, a recorder."

We picked out the recorder specifically because our artist was too lazy to draw a whole bag full of junk. Sorry to gip you, Brie.

December 11th

A "like" on Facebook

Submitted by: Geoff May @Geoff_May via Twitter

We like that you don't like the like on Facebook. Like, we don't like the like either.

December 12th

Call of Snooki: Big Ups! 2

Submitted by: Scott McCrickard @scottmccrickard via Twitter

Us folks here at Bite Daily googled this and couldn't find anything. Does this mean we're old and out of touch? Or does it mean we read books...?

December 13th

Mono

Submitted by: Steve P Adams @StevePAdams

So remember, no kissin' your boss at that office party. You don't know where s/he has been.

December 14th

Neck Massage from a Convicted Strangler

Submitted by: Lukas Drake @lukasdrake via twitter

Maybe the former criminal is in a rehab program. Maybe. Kudos to you if you cashed in the gift certificate, though.

December 15th

A Child's Wallet with a Horse on it

Submitted by: Quinn Mattfield @qbermensch

"And I didn't even know the horse personally."

Quinn, from your Twitter handle to your profile photo, you're the type of guy we'd like to be friends with. We hope we're not being creepy.

December 16th

Book of Flavoured Lifesavers

Submitted by: Dave Gammon via Facebook

Man, these guys just don't see a regift party opportunity when they see it.

December 17th

Real-Life Garfield

Submitted by: Steve Adams @StevePAdams

That Garfield. What an asshole.

December 18th

A photo of a Bucket of Marbles

Submitted by: Joel Buxton @joelbuxton via Twitter

First of all, Joel, don't you work here? Second, why can't you appreciate art, the greatest gift of all? Do you need a hug, Joel?

December 19th

Me Buying My Own Present

Submitted by: Darren Thapermall via Facebook

We hope the money from that gift came from a gift card, Darren. If not, then, well... your life is really sad and we're sorry. Merry Christmas though!

December 20th

What your Kid made you in Crafts

Submitted by: Steve P Adams

"Wow, Timmy. Thanks for the drawing. Did you draw this with your ass? I'm so disappointed in you. Just go to your room."

December 21st

Opened Crystal Pepsi

Submitted by: Bryna @thetenacious_b via Twitter

Wait a minute... didn't they stop making that drink in the early '90s? Oh... eeeewwwwww.

December 22nd

French Beret from the year 2000

Submitted by: Eric Miinch

"The year 2000 was embroidered on the hat... and was given to me on Christmas Day of 2002."

Hey, better late than never. Or maybe just... never. You did say "beret," right?

December 23rd

Wooden Block with the name "Leon" on it

Submitted by: Zeshan K

"I opened the box and and the block said "Leon," so I was thinking, WTF is this?? Later I realized it was suppose to spell "Noel."

Zeshan later revealed that the gift was eventually traded for a Transformer. All's well that ends well.

December 24th

Being in Jail

Submitted by: Dakota Webster via Facebook

The coup de grace of a shitty, shitty holiday. Right, Lindsay? Happy Holidays from all of us at Bite Daily!